Projectile Trajectory Of Penguin Poop

Penguins are obviously fascinating animals, but some Japanese scientists have gone too far with their research. Even though most of us didn't even know if this was an unsolved scientific riddle in the first place, their publication, Projectile Trajectory of Penguin's Faeces and Rectal Pressure Revisited, is unquestionably the most in-depth academic work on the physics of penguin poop.

Since we don't understand most of the specifics, we won't dive into them. The study examines the trajectory of all types of penguin excrement using complex calculations and advanced physics, and judging from the paper's polished appearance, it may even be correct. According to the study at least, keeping 1.34 meters away from a pooping penguin is the safest distance to maintain (or about 4.4 ft). Although again, there was no need for such a study in the first place because penguins peeing on people is not a common issue, the information is helpful.