The Kettle War

It's difficult to call any war a good war, but there are some things you might want to see in a war if you had the choice. Low casualties are obviously the best outcome, and if a war can be fought without anyone dying, so much the better. The Kettle War was one such war. A single shot was fired, and the only victim was a soup kettle.

The not-quite battle was fought between the Holy Roman Empire, represented here by the Spanish Netherlands, and the Republic of the Seven Netherlands. The Scheldt River was under the control of the Seven Netherlands in the north. The Scheldt River was controlled by the Seven Netherlands in the north. In 1784, the Holy Roman Emperor decided it was time to reopen the river to trade and dispatched three ships to the northern nation. The Dutch responded with one.

When they collided, the Dutch vessel fired a single shot. It hit the kettle on the Le Louis, and the captain immediately surrendered. The Le Louis was far better equipped for war than the Dutch ship, so the surrender was unusual. That story made the war more remarkable when it came to the most pointless wars.

• Date: 8 October 1784
• Location: River Scheldt