Tolstoy was a terrible husband
The relationship between Leo Tolstoy and his wife, Sophia Behrs was far away from ideal. Leo Tolstoy and his wife, Sophia Behrs, started their romance in a way that was incredibly unusual for the 19th century. Tolstoy, who was 34 at the time, wanted their relationship to be completely open when he asked Sophia, then 18, to marry him. Leo handed Sophia journals before they got married in which he talked about his previous intimate encounters with other women, including a peasant servant with whom he had a child out of wedlock. After learning about her future husband's sexual exploits, Sophia was horrified, yet she still decided to get married.
Tolstoy did nothing but make delivery more difficult. He once more turned to the peasant women in his hamlet each time his wife was pregnant and unable to have sex.
Children's caregiving also fell to Sophia. Leo Tolstoy occasionally engaged in game-playing with them, but most of the time he was writing or attending meetings with his fans and coworkers. Sophia also took responsibility for providing for their children's clothing and food while teaching them music and manners. Tolstoy was against the governors and nannies that most noble families of the period employed, so she handled everything on her own. Instead, he thought that all of this was a mother's responsibility.
