Understand târof

Târof, a complicated system of fake politeness in which one's genuine sentiments are never disclosed, is deeply ingrained in Iranian society and can be perplexing to foreigners. While there are many distinct variations, one that tourists will undoubtedly encounter is the term ghâbel nadâre, which means "you don't have to pay." This is something you will hear every time you pay for something, from cabs to restaurants and everything in between. Make no mistake about it: you should always pay.

If you congratulate an Iranian on anything they own, they will respond with ghâbel nadâre and suggest you take it. Under no circumstances should you accept, regardless of how genuine it appears. They'll be relieved that you didn't take an heirloom, and they'll be impressed that you identified it as târof. However, if they do purchase you a present, it is OK to accept.

According to Iranian customs, you must decline payment the first time. This might be perplexing for travelers because the majority of the globe is used to paying for products or services. You may lose the târof war over the bill the first time, but you can always return the favor the following time if you make new friends along the road, which takes us to our next suggestion.