Hierarchy and Honoring the Elder

The most crucial aspect of Indonesian etiquette is respecting elders. With so many different ethnic groups and traditions present, hierarchy plays a part in society. No one is equal, everyone has a status, and status can change. In most cases, respect is earned because of a person's status, power, position, and age. It is crucial to respect elders and know how to act in their presence.

Salim and sungkem are the two most well-known expressions of respect for elders in Indonesia. Salim is the practice of touching one's forehead with the back of the hand. Salim typically uses this technique with parents, teachers, grandparents, senior neighbors, and pretty much anyone else with an age difference of up to 5 to 6 years. This act of kindness is still being done today.

Sungkem, on the other hand, is the act of apologizing and demonstrating respect by holding the elder's hands and bowing deeply such that the child's nose is in their parents' hands. Additionally, it is still used today, typically during weddings and Hari Raya Eid al-Fitr.