Offer choices

It’s important to affirm the students’ autonomy by giving them choices. When kids feel respected, their sense of belonging and mood will often improve. Teachers should avoid ultimatums like “you better sit back down or I’ll send you to the office”. Instead, clearly communicate expectations and limits so kids understand. The teacher might say mildly “I see you’re upset, but it’s not OK to yell at me. You can either go get a drink of water and come back in five minutes or sit in the reading chair and I will check in with you in five minutes".

It's critical to avoid an argument in the heat of the moment. Teachers can say that “state your choices, then walk away". The teacher should give the student time to process and decide which choice to make. If they don't like the choices, don't engage. If they try to fight, repeat the alternatives and walk away again. If the student still won't select, they won't be able to join in their favorite activity.